How to Handle a Problematic Au Pair

An au pair is someone from another country who looks after the children in the home and also does some light housework. She is there to learn a new language and also to be exposed to another culture. However, if she is a problematic au pair in that she wants to watch television all day and thinks that doing light housework is beneath her, it can pose a serious problem and steps should be taken to rectify the situation before it gets out of hand.

Signs of a problematic au pair

• If your au par is depressed and unable to fulfill her duties, it is something to worry about. Someone who is lazy and does not abide by house rules and watches television all day, leaving the children to run amok, is surely not the right fit for you or your family. An au pair should not stay out all night without asking the host or telling her. A problematic au pair who does not want to do her share washing dishes or put the children to bed is a lliability rather than an asset.

Correcting the situation with a problematic au pair

• Wait for the children to have their daily nap, and then sit down with the au pair and ask her what is going on. Tell her what you have noticed and ask if she is unhappy. Tell her that you understand that she misses her family and ask what you can do to make her feel better. If she is an au pair worth having and the children love her, that is very important. A good au pair is hard to find. If she is rude to you, that is another matter and you don't want her influencing or being rude to your children. If she is the one the children want, however, give her a second chance and introduce her to some activities in the community so she can meet other people and build up some friendships. Invite her to call her family to speak to them for a few minutes, and pay for the call.